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Thu 22nd August 2019
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US granted citizenship to Indians driving on the wrong side of the road

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In an unprecedented move the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (UNCIS) made a public disclosure that it had granted citizenships -under a top-secret scheme – to individuals who were caught driving on the wrong side of the road in India.


“We are not only concerned about our jobs, what worries us more is how the immigrants end up driving on our roads. Therefore, we decided that while we will pursue the policy of strictest scrutiny in granting H1 B visas, we will fast track the citizenship process for Indians who are disposed to driving in accordance with our rules even when they are in India. You cannot help but respect their inclination. For most of them, it comes very naturally. And that is what we are looking for, certainly more than any educational qualifications,” said the spokesperson of UNCIS.


The spokesperson also extended his sincere gratitude to Minister of External Affairs, Mrs. Sushma Swaraj, who welcomed this initiative and co-operated in its execution while maintaining utmost confidentiality. “This is a small yet significant step towards strengthening of ties between the two great nations,” Mrs. Swaraj said, reacting to the statement issued by the UNCIS.


At press time, the Minister of External Affairs was contemplating a reciprocal measure by issuing Indian citizenship to US nationals who were caught urinating in public.

President Trump decides to back down after MEA issues a statement on airstrikes in Syria

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Reacting to the air-strikes on Syria by the United States of America and its allies, the Ministry of External Affairs in India, issued a strong statement urging all parties to show constraint. “The matter should be settled amicably through dialogue and negotiations. We urge all parties to show restraint and to avoid any further escalation in the situation,” the ministry said.


Sources close to the White House reported that President Donald Trump, who had made up his mind that this was the moment to start WWIII and had his finger firmly placed on the nuclear button, apparently changed his mind and decided to back down after the statement issued by the Indian Ministry of External Affairs.


Some experts suggest that the statement of the Ministry of External Affairs completely pulled the rug underneath President Trump and his allies who might have been heavily relying on India’s support.

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