Thu 13th August 2020

A New Kind of Epidemic

“The only thing I see on my phone is bezels” a depressed man seemingly frustrated with his current mobile device is reported to have said to his doctor. In other symptoms, the doctor confirmed, the man complained about having a swollen thumb. “In the morning, it is fine, but by the time its evening, I cannot take it anymore. The number of time I have to press the home button in a day is really painful,” the man told about his condition.

In a somewhat similar incident, pertaining to health condition arising from a mobile device, a student of reputed collage in the city complained to her physician about experiencing time dilation. “It was all fine till the time I updated the operating system on my mobile phone and then everything just changed. It seems like the world has somehow slowed down,” she reportedly told her doctor gingerly, while pausing in between to catch a breath.

In another unrelated instance at the other end of the city, a man drove his car into a pole in the middle of the afternoon. He told his medical supervisor that he was driving his wife’s car and that he could not see anything clearly because there were no day time running lights on them.

Responding to the above and other similar incidents reported nationwide, the spokesperson of the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare issued a statement, “It would be unwise to discard all these events as stray incidents. One might do so only at one’s own peril. This is the beginning of a new strain of diseases which have the potential to proliferate very quickly. Also, they don’t seem to be water-born or air-born, that we can issue specific precautions against it. We are doing whatever we can to address this situation.”

At press time, our sources confirmed that the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare had reported the incidents to the World Health Organization (WHO) and forwarded their findings requesting an immediate effort to find a vaccine for the same so that millions of lives could potentially be saved.

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